The Power of Sound

Hearing, Sound Meditation and Parshat Vayelech

In this week’s Torah portion, Vayelech, the people of Israel are commanded to listen to the entire Torah at the end of every seven years.

Everyone.

When we received the Torah on Mount Sinai we heard the blasts of the shofar and said, “We will listen… to the commandments of the Torah”

And one of our most important prayers that we recite three times a day starts with Shema Yisrael, “Hear o Israel…”

On Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, the only commandment we have is to hear the shofar. This holiday is referred to in the Torah as Yom Teruah, or the day of shofar blasts.

On Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, the holiday ends with a long shofar blast.

While the shofar is often called a trumpet, it is a ram’s horn. The ram’s horn reminds of when Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son Issac, and instead, a ram was caught in a thicket and Issac was spared. We too hope to be judged favorably on Yom Kippur.

What is it about hearing that is so important compared to the other senses?

Our sages discuss the importance of hearing in the Talmud .

The Beit Yosef, written in the 16th century by Joseph Karo, said that sight is external (what you see isn’t always what you get–you may see a beautiful house, but you don’t really know what’s going on inside) while hearing has more depth.

In the 18th century, The Ba'al Shem Tov said that this wordless sound of the shofar speaks to the heart in a way that surpasses anything that could be expressed by words or through vision. The shofar is meant as both a call to us to wake up and examine our deeds and work on ourselves and also a cry from deep within us that represents our appeal to G-d to judge us favorably on Yom Kippur.

According to Seth Horowitz, neuroscientist and author of The Universal Sense, hearing is an underrated sense.

Hearing, and sound shape the mind and affect the way we think, feel, and act.

He explains that “much of the emotional impact of sound dwells beneath conscious thought.”

Hearing is the fastest of all the senses -- we process sound much faster than sight. It is also the sense that allows us to perceive the world at the greatest distance away.

Mindful meditation is often practiced with the breath as the object of our focus,

Sound meditation uses sound as our object of focus. Just as we use the breath to anchor us in the present moment, we use sound to keep us in the here and now.

Let’s try this sound meditation together.

Sound meditation can be practiced indoors or outdoors.

Sound Meditation

So settling in, and making sure you’re comfortable, sitting straight, shoulders relaxed. You can sit or lay down, whatever keeps you most alert

Either close your eyes or lower your eyes to a spot in front of you.

Noticing the points of contact that your body is making with the chair or surface you are sitting on. Noticing if you are holding any tension anywhere in your body. (pause ) taking a moment to check

And seeing if you can let it go of any tension as you allow your body to be supported by the chair or mat.

Just as in awareness of the breath meditation, when our attention gets pulled away, we gently re-focus on sound or sounds.

Follow the instructions as best as you can.

I will leave spaces with no talking between the guiding for you to practice.

And now bringing attention to your breath.

Allowing the breath to move all the way down to your stomach.

Not forcing your breath in any way, but allowing your body to breathe naturally and at its own pace.

And noticing where you feel the breath most in your body– your stomach, your chest, your nose/nostrils? Taking a moment to notice (pause)

Can you hear your breath entering and leaving your body?

Resting your attention on the sound of your breath. (pause)

Any time your attention wanders, bringing it back to the sound –as many times as you need to.

Imagining that all that exists is the sound of your breath (pause)

And now expanding our awareness and paying attention to the sounds in the room around us. And if there is no sound at all, then noticing that.

Sounds around you, sounds from within you (and your body) such as your breath,

Being fully open to any sounds around you or within you.

And being aware of hearing at his moment.

We practice without judging the sounds– this is good, this is bad.

We don’t have to get caught up in the sounds, just allowing them to come and go.

Aware of sound and the space between sounds. Aware of silence. (pause)

At any point, if you notice that your mind is distracted, it’s okay.

Bringing your attention back to your ears and hearing whatever is in your awareness right now

We allow any sounds around to come to us on their own .

We don’t need to make an effort to hear sounds.

We can be curious about sounds.

Their volume, their pitch, their length. Vibration. Do they change?

Being present to whatever sounds are here– right now.

And allowing any sounds to wash over you and pass through you.

Taking a few more moments to observe your hearing and sounds.

Pause

And maybe feeling some gratitude for all our ears do for us.

How effortless it is for most of us to hear.

Imagining a sound we enjoy and maybe brings a smile to our face.

Pause

And now returning our attention to our breath.

Resting here for a few more moments.

May we merit a year in which we are able to appreciate all of our senses, and grow our awareness of all sounds around us.

G'mar Chatima Tova. May we inscribed in the book of life.

TO LISTEN TO THIS PRACTICE ON INSIGHT TIMER: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/the-power-of-sound-hearing-and-parshat-veyelech

OR ON THE APP: https://insig.ht/pSxqzV8Altb

Choose Life!

Free Will and Parshat Nitzavim

In this week’s Torah portion, Nitzavim, we are told that there are blessings and curses before us, and we should choose life.

R. Shimshon Rafael Hirsch explains that “ choosing life” means that there must be effort and thought on our part. It doesn’t happen by chance.

Free will is one of the cornerstones of Jewish belief. But are we really free to choose? Maimonides in his Mishneh Torah teaches that the question of free will is “longer than the land and wider than the sea.”

While we don’t have control over much in our lives, we can learn to control HOW we react or deal with different situations.

And here comes the promo for mindfulness. When we meditate and pay attention to our breath, we are more present in the here and now. The breath is always right here and right now, and it’s always with us. And if we can learn to be more present with whatever we are experiencing, we can slow down and choose not to allow our habitual responses to kick in. These responses can be knee jerk reactions that we later regret. So if the cashier in the supermarket tells me she is closed just as I put my stuff down after waiting fifteen minutes in line, I might have some choice in how I react after taking a few deep breaths. I give myself some “breathing room.”

Mindfulness practice simply means that you choose to be aware of what you are doing, when you do it, and that you don't just respond automatically. Is it that simple? How free are we really to choose to free ourselves from habits and instincts, and negative reactions that harm us and those around us?

When we’re mindful, these habits and instincts are still there. They don’t disappear, but they're less likely to control our thoughts and actions. Instead, they become mere thoughts and feelings that we observe and then can decide whether, and how, to act upon them.

We do have some freedom to choose. We can choose to be kinder, for example, to ourselves and to others, if we just stop and remember that this is a possibility. The same is true for being patient, curious, accepting, appreciative, reflective, and any number of other qualities we want to foster. These can be conscious choices. We just have to stop a moment and remember it is possible to act in that manner, and then choose to do so.

The choice is also in deciding whether we dwell in thoughts or feelings, or do we simply notice them without engaging them or becoming reactive. We first acknowledge when we notice thoughts, feelings or sensations. It’s like a wave coming at you when you swim—first you have to notice that it’s coming, then you may ride it or dive underneath it. You can’t choose whether the wave comes at you or not, but you can choose how you meet it. When we realize that there is a choice—that control is not necessarily in the content of our thoughts or feelings, but rather in how we deal with them —then we can take control over our life. Here is a short mindfulness practice to cultivate the freedom to choose where we place our attention

• Start by finding a comfortable place to sit, where you won’t be disturbed. Sit up straight, and relax your shoulders. Close your eyes or focus your gaze on a spot in front of you. Take a breath as you become aware that you’re breathing. And take a moment to notice the physical sensations of the breath– perhaps in your nose, or your chest, or your stomach as it rises with the in-breath and falls with the out-breath Pause.

• Take a moment to notice If you feel an itch, tingling sensation or any other physical distraction …. Observe it. Then take a breath. After your breath, you can choose how you are going to react to it—or not react to it.

• Take a moment to observe any thoughts that might arise as you sit. (pause). On the next out-breath invite your awareness back to focusing on your breath.

• Notice which thoughts pull at your attention and which ones you can let go. It doesn’t matter how many times you need to bring your attention back to your breath. The moment that you’re aware of a thought that’s distracting you, escort your attention back to your breath.

• Take some time to notice any feelings that might be coming up, such as frustration, sadness, joy or anger, and when you become aware of any feelings, acknowledge them, and invite your awareness back to your breath.

• Bring your awareness to any sounds around you -- traffic, birds, an appliance, the phone ringing or a child crying -- notice if you have a tendency to want to look or check it out. Take a deep breath. After your breath, you can decide whether or not the sound was worth investigating.

• Observe sensations in your body. If you notice a pain in your shoulder or an ache in your back and want to change your position, take a breath before you do anything. Then make a conscious choice—of moving or staying still. It’s OK to move or shift or change positions during your meditation, as long as it’s done with awareness.

• It doesn’t matter how many times you need to bring your attention back to your breath. The moment that you’re aware of a thought, feeling, sensation or sound that’s distracting you, that is a mindful moment, a moment where you are strengthening your ability to choose where to place your attention. Take a few more moments in this practice if you'd like.

• As you transition out of this practice, try applying this mindful awareness to your everyday life. Notice the point where you are triggered or distracted. Notice emotions and thoughts that arise, as well as sounds that distract you. Observe it all … and then mindfully make a decision on how to respond.

The Torah commentator, Kli Yakar, explains that one person’s behavior can affect everyone. My behavior and reactions not only affect me but anyone around me. Every action I make has a consequence, like a ripple in a pond.

In a few days, we will celebrate Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, a time of the year when we look back and reflect on what changes we might like to make. We look at our behaviors and hopefully try to become more aware of what we need to work on in ourselves. Mindfulness meditation can help us in this process of reflection and “return” to the person we would like to be.

Shana tova!

LISTEN TO THIS ON INSIGHT TIMER: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/choose-life-and-parshat-nitzavim

ON THE APP: https://insig.ht/mUue8j8qBtb

How to Build a Mindful and Loving Relationship and Parshat Ki Tavo

In this week’s Torah portion, Ki Tavo, we learn about the covenant between G-d and the children of Israel. It says: “You have affirmed G-d this day to be your G-d and you will walk in His ways and keep his statutes/commandments….And G-d has affirmed as he promised you, His treasure, who shall keep his commandments…”

The word in Hebrew for affirmed is האמרת he’emarta which is attributed to both G-d and the people. According to Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, the covenant is a mutual bond of love on both sides to be faithful and cherish one another.

Our commentators have different opinions as to the meaning of this verb.

Rashi says it means chosen, Radak says it means betrothed and Hizkuni says it means unique.

Whatever the meaning, language is deliberate in the Torah and the fact that both G-d and the Jewish people affirm their relationship shows the duality and reciprocity in their relationship.

There is a mutual bond of love.

This example of mutual love can be used in human relationships as well.

A loving relationship is a very important value in Judaism and is referred to in many places in the Torah. As Yeshiva University Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky wrote: "The relationship between Hashem and the Jewish people is a model for a loving relationship, and we can derive an important lesson from the words of commitment “ונשמע נעשה -- we will hear and we will do“, that brought this relationship into existence. The Jewish people were not aware of all the details of Torah life before committing to its observance. What was necessary was the trust in G-d and commitment of the Jewish people that as the relationship progressed, they would learn more about G-d and His Torah, and would want to observe all of its laws."

In addition, the holiday of Shavuot placed more of an emphasis on trust and commitment than on the knowledge of all the details. That knowledge would eventually come in time. Similarly, in a growing relationship with a potential spouse it is unrealistic to focus on every possible detail about the other person. More emphasis should be on general personality traits, compatibility, and mutual trust. As events unfold, a relationship built on trust and commitment will be able to sustain life’s challenges.

In our approach to our spouse’s shortcomings, we should emulate G-d’s patience and willingness to overlook our flaws. Nobody is perfect, and those who constantly focus on others' imperfections will never be happy.

So how can we put these ideas into practice?

Here are a few ways that the practice and attitudes of mindfulness can help us be more open to love, introspection, and growth in all of our relationships.

1. Mindfulness helps us be more present and attentive. It can help us notice when we are on autopilot and redirect our attention to whatever our partner is saying or to what they are feeling, which builds intimacy and makes our relationships happier and more connected.

When you are mindful of the love in your life you open yourself up to the opportunity for love to grow. And not just romantic love, but self-love, and loving friendships as well.

2. Mindfulness improves emotion regulation. So even when we do start to “lose it” or walk away from our partners when in the middle of an argument, we are able to say “This is not helpful!” and stop ourselves from going down a negative spiral in our relationship.

3. Be interested in the other person. One of the essential attitudes of mindfulness is curiosity, and we can bring this into our relationships to foster warmth and trust. Our minds often tell us that we “know” someone so well that we can predict their behaviors and responses. While this may be true some of the time, it also stops us from clearly seeing the person in front of us—instead, we just see our “idea” of that person. See if you can be open, curious, and interested in those close to you as if you are getting to know them for the first time. You might be surprised by what you find.

4. Mindfulness makes us more compassionate and kinder. People like to be around others who are kind because they feel cared about and safe with them. When we practice kindness, not only do we feel better, but we help others feel good, too. And this just increases opportunities for positive connections throughout our day, which, in turn, contributes to our own health and well-being.

5. Practice Mindful Listening

There’s a difference between hearing someone and actively listening to them. The next time you’re having a face-to-face conversation, notice the posture and body language of the other person. See if it’s possible to put aside forming your own response while listening to them speak.

Some of us who believe in or promote the benefits of mindfulness have a way of proselytizing in our attempts to raise awareness about the practice. “If it’s great for me,” we think, “it must be good for you, and you are missing out!”

Being excited about mindfulness is wonderful, but when we get too pushy about it in our intimate relationships—especially with our partners and spouses—it can cause friction.

Let go of the hope that he or she might one day get into mindfulness as much as you do. When you let go, a new world of deeper connection awaits, according to

Try this couple's meditation by Tara Brach, psychologist and meditation teacher.

A 10-Minute Meditation on Love Connection

Tara Brach and her husband, meditation teacher Jonathan Foust, have developed a regular practice for keeping the lines of communication open and maintaining a loving connection. They engage in this practice a couple of times a week. Here’s how Tara suggests going about it.

Keep the Lines Open

1) Begin by sitting silently together for about 10 minutes, or as much as time allows.

2) Next, take turns telling each other what you’re grateful for, and what's warming your heart right now. This is called gladdening the heart and serves as a good way to open the channel of communication,” Tara says.

3) Next, take turns naming any particular challenges you’re dealing with that are currently causing you stress. These are difficulties you’re facing apart from your relationship.

4) Then, deepen your inquiry by taking turns noting anything that might be restricting the sense of love and openness you feel toward your partner. First, you might ask yourself: “What is preventing me from feeling openhearted and intimate with my partner?” This is potentially the stickiest part of the practice, as well as the most rewarding.

“Naming difficult truths is the best way to bring more love and understanding into a relationship,” explains Tara. For example, she says, “There are times when I get busy and he takes on a larger portion of the household responsibilities and ends up feeling unappreciated, and I need to be reminded to express my appreciation. When we acknowledge what could cause resentment if left unsaid, it brings us closer together.” But, for this step to be productive, it’s essential for both partners to practice speaking and listening from a place of vulnerability, without blaming the other person.

5) Finally, enjoy some moments of silent appreciation together, ideally in a long, tender hug.

*And hug like you mean it!

Few things feel better than a good hug. Science shows that hugging can reduce blood pressure, and reduce anxiety.

Touch is also a primary way we communicate, feel safe, soothe our nervous systems, trust one another, and convey love and compassion.

We all want happier relationships, but rather than focusing energy on complaining or trying to change your partner, take up a mindfulness practice. Even better, take a mindfulness course together --if it interests both of you.

This will help you be more present, and loving, and build your own mutual bond.

LISTEN TO THIS ON INSIGHT TIMER:

https://insig.ht/v5Ggh5psmtp

To learn more about mindfulness for couples:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/courses/mindfulness-for-couples

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/about-the-mindfulness-course-with-susie