Mindfully Increasing Joy

Mindfully Increasing Joy and Cultivating Happiness in the Month of Adar

The new month of Adar is upon us. And with it, the well-known expression “when

Adar enters, we increase joy.”

According to the Chassidic Rebbe, Chaim Elazar Spira, (Minchas Elazar)

“ Whatever we can do to increase joy - there is a mitzvah in doing so, and each person has to evaluate this according to his own heart and soul... It is a mitzvah, insofar as possible, to increase the mitzvah-related joy in his heart and in his affairs”

It's a mitzvah to increase happiness, but there's no guidebook.

“Everyone according to his own heart and soul “ is not exactly a how-to manual.

Happiness is something we can cultivate with practice!

In 2014, the United Nations General Assembly proclaimed March 20 to be the International Day of Happiness. It’s easy to understand why they see happiness as something to celebrate: Happy people are healthier; they get sick less often and live longer.

Happiness is not just a personal issue; it’s a matter of public health and national well-being.

Below are a few happiness exercises to get you started by the Greater Good Science Center in Berkley. They suggest several happiness practices to increase joy and well being. Here are a few for you to try:

1) Three Good Things exercise- Keep a journal and write down positive things from your day. At the end of your day, write down three things that were positive and made you feel good, including how they made you feel. For example, something kind a colleague or family member said to you, enjoying a cup of coffee, or something nice you saw while walking. And then briefly explain why you think each good thing happened-which focuses your attention on the sources of goodness that surround you.

Make some time for yourself to think about these good things.

2) Meaningful Pictures

Remembering positive events is not the only way to happiness– finding and appreciating meaning in our lives can also bring us happiness.

During the week, look for sources of meaning in your life such as family, friends, work experiences, and hobbies. Take about 10 pictures of things that are meaningful to you. At the end of the week, spend some time reflecting on them: What does each photo represent, and why is what was photographed meaningful to you?

Write down some of those thoughts if it’s helpful.

3) Use Your Strengths exercise- invites you to consider your strengths. It’s easy for us to focus on our weaknesses and things we don’t like about ourselves. In this practice, every day we choose one or more of our strengths or positive attributes during the course of a week. A few examples include curiosity, creativity, kindness, humor, and justice. You can choose the same strength or work on different ones.

We make a plan to utilize our positive attributes in a new way. For example,

creativity in a work project, or curiosity for our partner’s or children’s interests.

At the end of the week, write about what you did, how it made you feel, and what

you learned.

4) Random Acts of Kindness is doing something nice for someone else, just because you want to, with no ulterior motive. Being kind makes us feel better, and helps us

to thrive in our communities and societies.

It doesn't matter if we know the person or not.

Here are a few examples:

• Giving compliments

• Showing gratitude

• Doing an act of service for someone else

• Giving your time to someone else (volunteering)

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.

Abraham Joshua Heschel

For more happiness practices:

https://ggia.berkeley.edu/#filters=happiness

Practicing cultivating happiness is not meant to ignore or negate unpleasant things or annoyances that happen to us in life, but it can’t hurt to spend some more time appreciating and seeing the good in our lives.

The month of Adar is a wonderful time to cultivate happiness.

To learn about living mindfully and mindfulness-based stress reduction:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/courses/about-the-course

Letting Go and Parshat Beshalach

In this week’s Torah portion, Beshalach, we learn about Am Yisrael's experiences after they were freed from slavery in Egypt. Standing at the Red Sea, they see the Egyptian forces approaching on chariots. The people cry out in panic and ask sarcastically if they were brought to the wilderness because there were no graves in Egypt.

"It is better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness,” they moaned. They lacked faith in Moses and in G-d. They were enslaved in Egypt for 430 years and although they received their freedom, they brought the heavy baggage of their past experiences with them such as being passive, timid, and dependent on their masters for their daily bread. Now that they were free and had G-d and Moshe to rely on, they didn’t need that baggage anymore. They could have shed those traits.

Nevertheless, they continued to cling to the mindset of a slave.

Similarly, in our own lives, we often cling to things that don’t serve us well, such as habitual worries, past experiences, bad habits and automatic reactions. In some cases, especially when it comes to the past, all you can do is accept whatever it is you’re holding on to, and then work on letting it go.

That’s how to bring about change and growth. Painful feelings can be familiar and comfortable, especially if they are all you know. Some people have trouble letting go of their pain or other unpleasant emotions about their past because they think those feelings are part of who they are. Carl Jung said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Internalizing that, however, is not so simple. One way to do so is through mindful meditation: becoming aware of what we are experiencing in this moment, and noticing what thoughts or feelings about the past or future are intruding on our minds. When we stop trying to hold on to these thoughts, feelings or sensations, or whatever it is that doesn’t serve us well, we actually become freer to live with ease. Meditation is one of the best ways to practice this. When we meditate, we notice how thoughts, sensations, and events are dynamic and changing. We practice letting go—rather than getting caught up in our thoughts and feelings and treating them as a personal threat. Whatever we yearn to let go of, we can practice letting go by checking in with the body and by consciously inviting a gentle release of whatever we are holding onto. One way to explore this idea o letting go is the practice of a body scan. As you go through areas of your body and notice different sensations, thoughts or feelings, take a few breaths. And imagine lightly resting your attention there, softening and letting go. Letting go is a practice of acknowledging and also surrendering what no longer serves us. It invites us to connect to the present moment by giving attention to and observing the body and the mind. This can bring a softening or release. Let’s try a short body scan with the intention of releasing or letting go of what lies heavy on our minds and hearts. Getting settled into a comfortable position– seated or lying down. Closing your eyes if you like. And noticing the contact that your body makes with the surface that supports you– such as the chair, cushion, or mattress. Taking a few conscious breaths. Allowing your body to sink a bit more with each breath (pause)

Noticing the air as it enters your nose, and as it leaves your nose or mouth. Noticing the movement of your chest as you breathe. Noticing the rise and fall of your stomach as you breathe in ….and breathe out. (pause) Gently scanning your body for any sensations – tension, tightness, heaviness, warmth, trembling, or lightness. So taking some time to check in with your body. (pause) And imagining directing your breath to an area in your body with a sensation or sensations that you notice (pause) Noticing your mind right now– is it alert, distracted, bored, relaxed, or something else? And paying to attention to your thoughts –such as the thoughts that might be automatic and self-critical. Is there a thought that you could let go of right now? A thought that doesn’t serve you or is holding you back? Is this thought true? Does this thought help you? Imagining with every out -breath that you are slowly releasing this thought. (pause) Noticing any reactions of resistance to letting this go. Noticing any feelings of lightness or freedom. Shifting our attention to our hearts and the area around the heart. Breathing towards this area. Noticing whatever feelings or sensations are coming up right now. (pause) Imagining releasing whatever is making your heart heavy right now such as a worry, frustration or regret. Breathing freely. Noticing if there are any sensations of lightness. As this practice comes to an end, can you take a moment and appreciate the effort you’re making to live more with ease and let go of the things that burden you? When you’re ready, bringing your attention back to the room and slowly opening your eyes if they were closed. Perhaps making an intention to do this practice on a regular basis. Letting go of what we don't need is difficult but can free us up to be more present in our lives and live with ease. It requires us to trust in ourselves (and others) and believe that we will be taken care of, just as the Israelites were taken care of at the Red Sea. Holding on to the past not only holds us back from growth but also prevents us from experiencing the fullness of life.

Shabbat Shalom

LISTEN TO THIS GUIDED PRACTICE ON INSIGHT TIMER: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/letting-go-and-parshat-beshalach

ON THE APP: https://insig.ht/pKBaqoAEfxb

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Replenishing Our Energy and Light

In this week’s Torah portion, Bo, we learn about the 9th plague, darkness, in great detail. It was so all-encompassing that it was literally felt or palpable ( וימש חושך) or as R. Shimshon Rafael Hirsch explains, it was so all-encompassing that the people were cut off from each other and their possessions and had to feel their way around.

What can we do to deal with occasional darkness or heaviness, especially at the end of the week?

Start by taking a mindful breath. Notice what you’re feeling. Continue to breathe and check in not only with the sensations in your body, but ask yourself what you need right now.

We have an opportunity to do this every week when we light candles before Shabbat.

As you observe the flames from your candles, say to yourself that it’s time to rest.

Resting takes a lot of work. Many people are great at doing and achieving, but find it hard to stop.

True rest is replenishing our energy. During the week we are pulled in many directions, and our activities might drain us so we need to draw energy back to be replenished and renewed.

As we light candles for Shabbat, we wave our hands near the candles toward us.

Maybe this is symbolizing drawing light and energy inward?

After expending our energy outward, we can draw energy back to us. As you light candles before Shabbat, imagine taking the light and bringing it toward you.

You can stop, take a moment, and think about all the parts of yourself that need care this week. Where has light been missing? If your back aches or your heart has been hurt, imagine bringing some light from the candles toward you and allowing some of the light to seep in.

Is there anyone that you want to share this light with? Wave the light from the candles to the sides, to share it with people you care about. Pause for a deep breath, close your eyes, and think of all the people in your life who need this light too.

Stay there as long as you need to.

Shabbat Shalom. שבת מנוחה, a restful Shabbat.

mindfulnesswithsusie.com