How to Cultivate Hope

In this week’s Torah portion, Vayera, Avraham shows a lot of faith, even when not knowing how the promise of having children to carry on the teachings of our traditions and being made a great nation, and receiving the land will play out.

He goes through many trials and tribulations throughout the parsha: he was asked to sacrifice his son, argued with G-d about destroying the evil and morally corrupt Sodom, ultimately saved his nephew Lot from being destroyed there, and feared from his encounter with King Avimelech.

When he and Sarah stay in Gerar, he fears that he will be killed so that his beautiful wife Sarah will be taken by King Avimlech, since such was the custom of that place– to kill the husband and take his wife.

Moral depravity is all around and there is not a lot of feeling of hope for the future.

And yet at the very end of the Torah portion, we read about the genealogy of Rivka.

What’s the connection?

Hope.

No matter how low, depraved, evil and corrupt society sinks, we learn that there will be a successor of Sarah. There will be continuity.

How can we cultivate hope when things around us seem so dark?

According to psychologist and author of “The Psychology of Hope” Charles Snyder, hopeful people believe that their plans or goals can happen, even when the situation around them is uncertain and not favorable. They don’t stop in setting a goal or making a plan for it to happen. Obviously, goals can change, especially in a time of war, but even just thinking about a goal, can help us to cultivate a feeling of hope.

Hopeful people understand that when the future is uncertain, it holds many possibilities and not necessarily just negative ones. There is also room for hope.

In addition, hopeful people don’t go it alone. They are part of a community and are in touch with friends and family. We can also be aware of who gives us strength and choose who we want to be with. Social connections are important.

And finally, since it’s usually about mindfulness, I have found that keeping up my mindfulness practice has helped me to feel grounded and in the present moment, rather than constantly worrying about what will be. And there is a lot to worry about.

We don’t need lofty goals right now. Any small thing that will give us strength and help us cope, such as better taking care of ourselves to help us get through each day or helping someone in our community.

If we could take one thing to learn from Avraham right now, it could be that in the face of uncertainty, trials and fear for his life, he looked ahead with the promise and goal of building the future of the Jewish nation.

May we also merit in the building of the future of the Jewish nation, and may we merit protection ( מגן אברהם) as we fight for our survival and the eradication of those who want to destroy us.

To learn more about mindfulness:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/about-the-mindfulness-course-with-susie

עברית

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/he/mindfulness-course-with-susie-lp

In Times of War How Can We Mindfully Rebuild?

Noah, Destruction, and Rebirth: How Can We Mindfully Rebuild?

This week’s Torah portion is chilling, all the more so light of the war that has been waged upon us: And it says: ותשחת הארץ לפני אלוקים ותמלא הארץ חמס

“And the earth was corrupt and the earth was filled with violence (חמס). “

Just a paragraph earlier we learn that the world was being populated and the men were taking women by force. There was evil all around. G-d considered whether to destroy the world that He had just created. But then there was Noach, who found favor and was righteous. He was singly chosen to carry on the human race. We are meant to learn lessons from what is written in the Torah: The world cannot continue to exist with corruption and violence.

What we have witnessed with Hamas’ brutal and bloodthirsty attack on our citizens is, to say the least, very difficult to absorb and imagine (I hope you are limiting your exposure to details and images). That is because most of us are not evil and barbaric, and we don’t have the capacity to fathom such savagery.

In Genesis, light was created on the first day and the fourth day, but according to our sages, the light on the first day is a spiritual light, a light which can also be our potential to do good in this world. And that is what we have seen– the worst evil imaginable, AND the most incredible outpouring of good and positive acts all around the world. We were created with free will. We have the potential for good and evil.

Noach is chosen to rebuild after this corruption, violence and destruction. And it takes many weeks for this to happen. When he steps out of the ark after about 370 days, he is understandably shaken. The first act he does is to make an offering of thanksgiving.

The second one is to plant a vineyard.

And this is Jewish history in a nutshell. There is a tragedy or worse, destruction, and then we rebuild. It takes a while. It’s a process that is unfolding before our eyes.

We will rebuild.

But how do we keep ourselves grounded during this very difficult period and tap into our natural resilience?

Much has been written about self-care– limiting exposure to the news, getting sleep, eating healthy, exercising, having social contact, volunteering, asking for help, and so on.

Here is a mindfulness practice that you can do anytime or anywhere when you feel overwhelmed. It’s called the STOP practice.

STOP is an acronym for: Stop, Take a breath, Observe your feelings, body sensations and thoughts, and Proceed.

Here are some instructions for the practice:

The STOP practice can help whenever you’re feeling distress, creating space to observe and tame your feelings, and to access natural strengths and resources within you.

The practice is helpful if you need support to move through intense feelings so that you can note them and set them aside for the moment, with the intention of reflecting on them more deeply later.

We observe what we are experiencing, and after the practice, we reflect on the situation that we are in as a whole, which can promote even further growth.

Reactivity is part of what it means to be a human being. The question is this: How do we meet our reactivity with the intention of transforming it into healthy reactions in our everyday lives?

We do it by practicing mindfulness as if our very lives depended on it, as Jon Kabat-Zinn says, "Because right now they do."

At the first sign of being upset or stressed, practice this self-care technique.

STOP Practice:

Stop what you are doing and take a pause.

Take a few deep breaths. This helps bring you into the present moment.

Observe your experience just as it is.

Ask yourself:

“What emotions am I feeling?” Research shows that just naming your emotions can have a calming effect.

“What am I experiencing in my body? Am I tense or hungry?”

“What thoughts are present?”

Proceed by asking yourself “What do I need right now?” Find something that will support you in the moment: time for yourself, talking to a friend, or maybe going for a walk.

“What would be a helpful response to this situation?”

Our day-to-day life presents us with many opportunities to check in with ourselves to monitor and regulate what we are feeling and thinking. All feelings and reactions are welcome. We don’t judge whatever we are feeling or thinking.

Take a moment throughout your day to check in and become aware of how you are feeling and what you are thinking to give yourself a reset.

Taking one minute to use this technique will help bring you into the present moment and give you the ability to better handle life’s challenges.

May we soon share together in healing and rebuilding and find strength and support when we need it.

The next mindfulness course with Susie will start on 4/3/25 in Jerusalem.

For more details:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/about-the-mindfulness-course-with-susie

skeinon@gmail.com

Mindfulness With Susie

The Meaning Behind Finding Joy: A Mindful Sukkot

A Mindful Sukkot

The holiday of Sukkot is known as a time of joy -- v’samachta b’chageicha, v’hayita ach sameach, which means you should rejoice in your festival and be fully happy.

This celebration comes only four days after profound reflection during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, shifting from a solemn atmosphere to one of joy and thanksgiving as we start a new season: autumn.

Autumn is the backdrop of Sukkot, and it fits perfectly with the gathering of summer crops and fruits—a period that is ripe with joy.

We shift from the introspection of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, which prompts us to look inward, to Sukkot, which encourages outward joy and gratitude for the earth's abundance. It's only natural to rejoice in the blessings bestowed upon us as we gather our crops.

Sukkot is the ultimate holiday to practice mindfulness --okay, every holiday is a perfect time to practice mindfulness! As we sit in our booth (sukkah) we are literally surrounded by reminders all around which help us focus and be mindful of one of the main messages of the holiday: gratitude.

Many of us are probably not connected to the daily rhythms of weather and the agricultural cycle. Sukkot serves as a reminder to be mindful and appreciate agricultural blessings, even for those who are not close to the farming lifestyle.

To help us really feel this connection, the symbolic "four species" (arba minim) that we hold during Sukkot—a citron (etrog), date-palm branch (lulav), myrtle leaves (hadassim), and willow branches (aravot)—echo the themes of planting and harvesting and our connection to the land.

We smell the four species and shake them back and forth as an expression of our thanksgiving to G-d for the abundance we receive from the land.

And Sukkot is also a natural opportunity to practice mindful eating. How much thought do most of us give to where our food came from– someone planted it, worked the field, prayed for just the right amount of sun and rain, harvested the crops and sorted them before they were sent to the warehouse, where they were packed and finally made their way to our supermarket. Take a moment the next time you sit down to eat to reflect on where your food came from.

Another reason to feel joy this holiday is that we have just finished Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, a time of introspection and self improvement to fix our flaws or mend our ways.

Yom Kippur, despite its somber tone, can be a joyous occasion, offering us a chance to look inward, work on ourselves, and extend forgiveness to both ourselves and to others. What greater joy is there than being granted new opportunities and a fresh start?! Self-reflection is literally a gift we can give to ourselves.

Getting back to Sukkot, I always found it interesting that the emotion of joy is commanded on this holiday.

What is joy?

Is it fleeting happiness that comes and goes?

Is it stopping to “smell the roses?”

Is it partying until the wee hours or going to hear your favorite band?

Is it contentment, or being happy and grateful for what we have?

Is it having meaning in our lives?

Or maybe it’s a combination of all of the above?

To cultivate happiness, contentment and meaning we have to understand their essence.

We often associate being happy with being content. What's the difference? Contentment is being happy with what you have. It doesn’t mean that you don’t notice what is lacking in your life, but you are able to see and appreciate what you do have.

For example, maybe you dreamed of living in a big house, but instead live in a small apartment. You might learn to appreciate being surrounded by nice neighbors (hopefully) and not having the burden of taking care of a big house.

Gratitude is another component of joy.

Gratitude is acknowledging, recognizing and being thankful for what we have received and the goodness or support of others, and the beauty around us. It keeps us attuned to the gifts that have come our way.

And finally, meaning.

Meaning is the belief that your life matters, that it has purpose, that what you do is significant, and that you actively pursue what is important to you.

Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and founder of logotherapy, wrote that anything we do can be important, and meaning can be found everywhere.

Frankl believed that we are each responsible for finding our own meaning in our lives. Amidst the horrors of a Nazi concentration camp, he found meaning among suffering. In Man’s Search for Meaning, he wrote that we each bear the responsibility of finding purpose in our lives. Frankl believed that we can find meaning everywhere and at any time, whether in times of suffering or in joyous moments.

That's difficult to put into practice. Not all of us are able to find meaning in misery and suffering but most of us can find meaning in a job, with family or friends, or in everyday experiences such as taking a walk in nature or meeting a friend.

Clarifying your values and what matters to you will help you to find meaning.

Meaning is not just found in one place. It can be found all around us—in our relationships, work, and in spiritual and religious beliefs, as well as through appreciating life’s everyday moments.

Mindfulness practice facilitates growing and cultivating awareness of what is most important to us.

When the mind is at ease, our core essence and true nature can become more accessible.

And when we can accept the way things are without resisting them, we have more energy to plant seeds of gratitude and meaning in our lives.

Mindfulness based stress reduction can help us reduce stress and notice and appreciate moments of joy.

Joy can be found in noticing a calming breath or from an everyday routine activity.

However you define happiness or joy, how will you find it this new year?

Take the opportunity now to care for yourself and discover joy in the simplest of moments.

To learn more about mindfulness:

https://www.mindfulnesswithsusie.com/courses/about-the-course

The Meaning Behind Finding Joy: A Mindful Sukkot