Complaining Versus Gratitude

In this week’s Torah portion Sh’lach, the people requested to check out the land of Israel before they enter. Twelve princes --people of stature--one from each tribe,

are chosen to go “spy” out the land of Israel, presumably to learn the character of the land and habits of its inhabitants or to help develop a military strategy.

They come back with a mixed report and conclude that it’s not possible to go into the promised land due to the inhabitants, who are giants and “stronger than them….. We are grasshoppers in their sight.” The people heard their report, panicked and said that it would have been better to die in the wilderness rather than try to enter the land that

G-d has promised them.

How is it that these same people who saw miracle after miracle and felt G-d’s constant protection and bounty were wailing to go back to Egypt, the land of their enslavement?

In times of prosperity there is a risk of ingratitude and forgetting all that we have.

Most of us are fortunate and have what we need–good health, family, employment.

We have a lot of good in our lives, but when things are not 100% right, we complain.

We are actually hard wired to remember the negative.

The negativity bias refers to our proclivity to “attend to, learn from, and use negative information far more than positive information”

Negative events often elicit stronger responses than non-negative events.

Which might explain why we often recall and think about insults more than compliments, dwell on unpleasant events more than pleasant ones, and focus our attention more quickly on negative rather than positive information

Gratitude is built into daily Jewish life.

The first thing we say when we wake up in the morning is Modeh Ani, thanking G-d for restoring our souls to us after a night’s sleep.

We are taught very early on in our lives, not to take things for granted and to demonstrate our appreciation and thankfulness and feelings of gratitude towards all kindness received and from whom we receive them. The first part of our morning prayers are blessings -called Birchot Hashachar– for things we may take for granted– getting out of bed, being able to see, the ability to walk, having our needs provided for, and so on.

How many of us wake up in the morning and really count our blessings? Many of us take these precious gifts and so many others for granted

Being grateful means we have less to complain about. It makes life happier, being conscious of all that we have

Gratitude is a positive state of mind and expressing it gives us a sense of contentment and well being

According to Rabbi Eliezer Weisz of Kfar HaRoeh, in our daily lives, we must see

“That it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes

us happy.”

Also, showing gratitude to other people brings happiness to the recipient.

Gratitude and appreciation are important in building healthy relationships

How do we look at the “big picture” before we start complaining? The big picture is that there is an abundance of blessings we are enjoying despite the bumps in the road that we sometimes go over.

How can we learn to cultivate gratitude?

And how can mindfulness practice help us?

Let’s start a mindfulness meditation on gratitude.

Settling in, in your chair, the floor or your bed. Inside or outside.

Where you are, is less important than the intention you bring to the practice.

Start with noticing something simple you are experiencing at this moment.

It could be the side of a tree swaying gently in the wind, or the warmth of sunlight on your skin, or maybe the experience of comfort from the chair you are sitting in, or the simple wonder of pausing in the midst of your busy life to engage with this practice right now.

Choose one thing to notice and allow it fully into your experience.

Let appreciation and gratitude arise and fill your body and mind (pause).

And now thinking of something else we may take for granted: the things that you use that support your work and your personal life. Your computer, your books, work space, car, equipment or tools, or anything else.

Choose one thing and consider all that was needed for it to be created.

Maybe you bought it at the store or received it from someone, but someone took the time to make it.

Appreciate and feel gratitude that you have access to these things. (pause)

And taking a moment to feel gratitude for people you work and live with.

Think of a particular person whose work or effort directly supports your work in life. Appreciate their contribution, their good intention, saying in your mind to them,

“Thank you.” (pause)

Now bring to mind someone you care about. Picture them in your mind.

Think about what this person means to you. What you appreciate about them, who they are, the support you have received, and the impact that they’ve had in your life.

As you imagine them, notice what feelings you are experiencing, what sensations are coming up in your body, especially those in the area of your heart. Maybe feeling that area around your heart expanding.

Let yourself express gratitude towards them. Thanking them for being who they are and for their presence in your life. Imagine them receiving your gratitude.(pause)

Now bring to mind something, in particular, you are grateful for today. Feel the appreciation and gratitude for its presence in your life.

As you bring these things to mind for what you’re grateful for, allow yourself to rest in the experience. (pause)

When you cultivate the practice of gratitude, you may even find yourself able to be grateful for difficult or unpleasant experiences.

If you’d like to bring to mind an experience in your life that is challenging, one for which you’d like to be able to express gratitude.

Offer your gratitude and appreciation. Thank this challenge for what it may offer you. Gratitude for our body, gratitude for our mind, gratitude for the simple fact of being alive at this moment (pause).

Finally, appreciate the opportunity to pause and experience this very practice of gratitude in itself. For all that you have brought to mind during this meditation, for all of the countless gifts in your life, say, “Thank you.”

Allow the sense of gratitude to fill you completely as you breathe in and breath out.

Settling on the breath right here, right now, fully alive and present in this very moment.

Finish with a full deep breath in and a long breath out.

Gently and slowly open your eyes and return your awareness to the place where you are.

If you’d like to continue practicing gratitude meditation, make an intention to think about something you feel grateful for every morning right when you wake up. You could write it down in a journal.

I am grateful for you for joining me in this practice.

Listen to this on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6T2wqnoW2e7c40T8aqRyGo?si=WT4-qhT1Tce0jqYwx4

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Let The Light In....And Out

This week’s Torah portion, Beha'alotcha starts with Moses’ command to Aharon to light the Menorah (Candelabrum) and Aharon's fulfillment of the command:

G-d spoke to Moshe, saying: "Speak to Aharon and say to him, 'When you kindle the lamps, the seven lamps shall illuminate towards the body of the Menorah.”

Why does this command appear here? What is the connection between the lighting of the menorah by Aharon and the events of the narrative of the book of Numbers? The command to light the Menorah has already appeared twice in the Torah: in Exodus and in Leviticus. Why is the Torah now repeating it for a third time?

The tabernacle was built by Moses. This may lead to the impression that the people of Israel have no portion in it. The commandment concerning the oil is meant to counter this perception: B'nei Yisrael's part in the tabernacle is their regular contribution of oil for lighting. Moses building it is a one-time event. The Jewish people participate in a way that is ongoing by regularly bringing oil.

The lighting of the menorah fits well in the book of Numbers.

In our Parsha, Aharon is charged with lighting the menorah as a representative of the nation, but the people are also involved and have a role -- not just their leaders.

It says in Midrash Tanchuma, "Say to Israel, "It is not because I need your light that I tell you to light the lamp, but rather for your own merit…”

According to Rabbanit Sharon Rimon, When a person builds a house, he makes windows in the house, since he wants the light to enter. So he makes the windows narrow on the outside, and wide on the inside. Why? In order that the light will enter from outside and illuminate inside. But when Solomon built the Temple, he did not make the windows like this. Rather, he made them narrow on the inside and wide on the outside, in order that the light would emanate from the Temple and illuminate outwards. As it is written in the book of Kings (Sefer Melachim Chapter 6), "And for the House he made windows that were wide" on the outside "and narrow" on the inside – to show that G-d is light, and He has no need for your light.

The Temple is built so that light will emerge from the inside and illuminate outwards.

The Torah chooses to emphasize the nation's share in the lighting. Why?

Without the people of Israel lighting the Menorah, the light of the Temple will not be disseminated beyond the Temple.

Am Yisrael are partners in kindling the light of the Sanctuary and spreading it outward.

How can each of us spread light around us? How can we connect to our own light?

We’re going to do a short visualization practice

Take a moment to get comfortable and sit in a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath in, and as you exhale, let the tension start to leave your body. Or you can leave your eyes open and focus on a spot in front of you.

Breathe naturally, not controlling the breath in any way.

Do a short scan of your body, noting how your body feels.

Focus on the areas where tension is stored, and imagine releasing the tension with each exhale. Feel your body becoming more relaxed..... letting go of stress.

After the next exhale imagine light flowing from you – outside of you.

What does that feel like?

Who would you like your light to touch? Take a moment and imagine light flowing from you and reaching this person…..

Now imagine this light coming back to you and passing through you.

You can radiate this light and also receive it and take it in.

How does it feel to bask in this light? Can you feel warmth?

Take a few more moments.

Feel the fullness and warmth of this light and make an intention to take some of it with you as you finish this practice.

Remember that you can access and imagine this light again, anytime you need to.

Listen to this on Insight Timer:

https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/light-visualization-and-the-menorah

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Why Mindfulness Is Not Passive

In this week’s Parsha, Behar, we learn about the Sabbatical year and letting the land lie fallow. We don’t plant or cultivate the land. Every seven years we observe the Sabbatical year. While my understanding of agriculture is limited, I have read that allowing the land to rest can save it from burnout and overuse and allow it to regenerate and flourish.

Industrial agriculture has depleted a lot of land around the world and this affects global warming. According to the Rodan Agricultural Institute, “the healthier the soil, the greater its holding capacity for carbon.“ The Sabbatical year could “complement other land conservation and carbon sequestration techniques by letting land rest and increasing soil fertility preserve carbon. “ Just as people rest on the seventh day (Shabbat), the land is personified and it rests on the seventh year. This also allows the farmer to focus on other things in that year, such as learning and spiritual pursuits.

In addition, it allows farmers to temporarily “release” ownership of their fields so poorer people can eat good quality produce: “And six years thou shalt sow thy land, but the seventh year thou shalt let it rest and lie fallow, that the poor of thy people may eat; and what they leave the best of the field shall eat (Exodus 23:10).” Farming is a very intensive and active pursuit. Letting the land lie fallow, therefore, means that in the seventh year the ordinarily very active worker of the land suddenly has to become passive. That’s not easy!

Some think that mindful meditation, too, is a passive endeavor. But that is a misconception. It is much more than just sitting on the floor with legs crossed and emptying the mind. Mindfulness is an active practice, requiring us to keep noticing our thoughts, feelings, sensations and perceptions, watching them come and go from a distance. It’s a practice that requires training and discipline. Just as you wouldn’t expect to go to the gym and start lifting heavy weights, you have to train the muscle called paying attention or noticing.

Mindfulness is not about giving up or disengaging from the world around us. Some say that meditation allows you to clear your mind in order to be unaffected by the world and accept whatever comes. But that, too, is a myth. The core of mindfulness meditation is the exact opposite.

Mindful meditation practice is used to calm and teach our minds a different way of being in the world, allowing us to practice observing the stream of thoughts and emotions without the bias that pollutes our experience. While we are observing and contemplating, we find that our problems are often more complex or simpler than we imagined; that they are dependent on other situations; that they have their roots in something deeper, or are less difficult than we thought. In meditation, we step out of our automatic reactions and open up to seeing things more clearly. We connect with our deeper intentions. A commitment to the practice of mindfulness can give us more clarity and allow us to take important and healing action. There is a time to rest and a time to take action, but the two are not mutually exclusive. As the Sabbatical year teaches us, sometimes resting or pausing can give us the energy and ability to grow and flourish.