Mindfully S-T-O-P, Look, and Listen & Parshat Re'eh

Mindfully S-T-O-P: Creating a Mindful Space to Choose and Parsaht Re'eh

In this week’s Torah portion Re’eh, we are given two paths to choose from: a blessing and a curse. We have free will to choose. If we follow the commandments (mitzvot) we shall be blessed in the Land of Israel. But if we don't, we won't. There is right and there is wrong, and according to what we learn in this Torah portion, things such as eating the blood of an animal, human sacrifices, sexual immorality, following false prophets, and not releasing slaves are just a few of the things that are forbidden and lead to a corrupt society without blessings.

Free will in Judaism is the capacity to choose between different courses of actions, words, or thoughts; a choice between right and wrong.

This idea that human beings can exercise their own free will when making moral decisions is key in Judaism.

In Judaism we believe that we need not despair because as low as a person has fallen, he can always turn around and fix his mistake. G‑d is compassionate--he forgives transgressions, and He shows patience. Human beings have the capacity to change.

Change is possible when you have free will, but the ability to turn yourself around can come only from within you.

Back to our Torah portion—to help us understand the blessings and the curses, the Torah mentions two mountains– Gerizim “the mountain of the blessing”, and Ebal the “mountain of the curse”. As Moses commands the people: Six tribes stood on Gerizim and six on Ebal. The Kohanim turned to Gerizim and proclaimed: “Blessed is he who keeps…” and continued to single out each individual mitzvah (commandment) the nation is instructed to perform, and the people answered “Amen.” Then the Kohanim turned to Ebal and proclaimed: “Cursed is he who…” and enumerated the Torah's prohibitions.

Two mountains of equal elevation, and on each mountain an equal number of tribes.

According to Rabbi Nachman Kahana, the two mountains reflect an important lesson – that the world is a duality. On the one side, morality; on the other, evil and sin.

We are also divided– between the yetzer hatov and yetzer harah, the instinct for good vs the instinct to do evil.

The good and beauty of Har Gerizim within us vs the evil and barren Har Ebal.

What can help us when making a choice or deciding how to proceed ?

There is a mindfulness practice that can help us to pause before we react or make a decision.

It’s called the STOP practice and can take just a couple of minutes.

First, there is

S = Stop

Stop what you’re doing; put things down for a minute.

T = Take a breath

Take a few deep breaths. If you’d like to extend this, you can take a minute to breathe normally and naturally and follow your breath coming in and out of your nose.

O = Observe

Observe your experience just as it is—including thoughts, feelings, and emotions. You can reflect on what is on your mind, and also notice that thoughts are not facts. Notice any emotions present and how they’re being expressed in the body. Research shows that just naming your emotions can turn the volume down on the fear circuit in the brain and have a calming effect. Notice your body’s sensations.

P = Proceed

Proceed by continuing without expectation. Let your attention now move around you, sensing how things are right now. Rather than react habitually, you can be curious and open.

You can practice STOP before making a decision, and also just stop during your day to be more present in what you are doing. Get curious about where there are opportunities in the day for you to just STOP—waking up in the morning, taking a shower, before eating a meal, at a stop light, or before sitting down at work.

By taking a moment to stop before we choose, we create a space before we react or decide, and then we can truly exercise our free will and react in ways that are more true to ourselves and healthier for the people around us.

What would it be like in the days, weeks, and months ahead if you started stopping more often?

LISTEN TO THIS ON INSIGHT TIMER APP: https://insig.ht/OWCrbSE8Lsb

OR: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon

Mindful Eating and Parshat Eikev

In this week’s Torah portion, Eikev, we learn about the blessings and the warnings given to Am Yisrael,the Children of Israel, if they don’t follow the commandments and keep the covenant that G-d made with them. The blessings include fertility of the land and the people, health, and protection from our enemies, just to name a few.

We ought to be aware of all the good we have and not take it for granted.

We should be careful not to get haughty and think that all blessings come from us.

The goodly land of Israel is described to us:

"A land of wheat and barley, vines and figs, and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and dates. an We shall always have bread and we shall lack for nothing."

After we have filled our stomachs and feel satiated, we are commanded to

“Bless G-d, who has given us this good land.”

​We​ are required to try and cultivate appreciation of all the good we have around us. B​lessing G-d , which is mentioned here, is the source for the commandment to bless our food after we have eaten (Birkat Hamazon or grace after meals). G-d is the giver of all food הזן את הכל and we are the receivers of his care.​ This food and this land that grows the food are not to be taken for granted.

This is one lesson that we need to take with us as well, to appreciate all the good around us. One way to do this is to start a mindful eating practice.

Mindful eating is about paying attention to what we eat and how much we eat by using our senses to be fully present in the experience.

This means practicing awareness before, during, and after eating to fully experience the process of eating. Mindful eating can improve body image, weight, and digestive health.

Eating mindfully centers around thoughts, emotions, and sensations during meals. Here are some examples :

Thoughts: Where did the ingredients come from? How, and by whom was it prepared? What are the colors, smells, and textures?

Emotions: What kind of emotions does this food evoke? Happiness? Disgust? Guilt? Satisfaction? Do the smells bring back any memories?

Physical Sensations: How hungry am I right now? What are the feelings of satisfaction vs fullness?

You can experience more enjoyment from the food you consume by shifting your focus from multitasking to only eating. Then you can taste your food and reflect on each bite.

How to Practice Mindful Eating:

Here are some general tips for getting started:

1.Remove distractions: Removing distractions like phones, televisions and books will allow you to focus only on your meal or snack.

2. Mindful eating can start at the grocery store: It can start with your grocery list. Look at your list of items and consider each one. How will it be used? How did the item get to the grocery store (the farmers, distributors, stock people)?

3. Pause when you feel hungry: Sometimes other emotional states like stress or boredom can feel like hunger. Pausing to consider whether you are truly hungry before eating can help sort out the difference between physical hunger and other needs. Some of us were raised to clean our plates and finish all of our food. Now might be a good time to reevaluate this behavior.

If you would like to try this practice now, take a moment to get something to eat- it could be a small piece of fruit (a raisin) a piece of chocolate , or a nut (almond) or anything

*4. Slow down before eating: Before starting to eat your snack or meal, take a couple of minutes to pause and think about the food you are about to eat. Approach it with curiosity. What colors are on the plate? What shapes and textures do you see? What do you smell? If there is handheld food, what does it feel like in your hand? Take a couple of minutes to experience the food with your eyes and nose before tasting it. If you like, take a moment to be thankful for everyone who made it possible for you to be eating this food.

Before you put this food in your mouth, take a moment and put it to your lips. Take a moment to feel what it's like to experience it with your lips. What is happening inside your mouth? Your stomach? How does it feel to eat in this way?

When you're ready, put the food in your mouth, and notice what it's like on your tongue and the roof of your mouth before your chew it. Roll it around in your mouth.

*5. Slow down while eating: Mindfulness is all about fully experiencing the present moment. The only way to do that is to slow down each action during the eating process. Chew each bite of food before swallowing. Notice the full flavor profile of your food before your swallow it. Start to chew and imagine it going down to your stomach.

Take as long as you need to in this practice.

Take pauses to check in with your hunger level.

6. Be non-judgmental: We all have different thoughts and feelings surrounding food. Acknowledge when any thoughts occur without judging yourself. Notice any thoughts as simply a thought you have towards food, and then move your attention back to all of your senses in the present moment as you eat your meal or snack.

7. Stop when you are full: Mindful eating includes focusing on hunger cues and stopping when you are satisfied instead of eating until you are stuffed or have finished all your food.

Mindful eating may not feel natural at first, especially if you are used to eating with distractions around you. Consider trying for just one snack or small meal to get started. Try it out and be open to a more mindful experience with the food you eat.

Our food provides us with the nutrition we need to survive and maintain health by nourishing each organ, tissue, and cell of the body.

Food is literally life. Whether we bless our food before and after we eat it or appreciate what we have on a regular basis and notice that it all comes from sources outside of us, mindful eating is a wonderful way to cultivate appreciation and gratitude. And that can help us be more present and fully enjoy other moments in our life.

To listen to this on Insight Timer App: https//insig.ht/SzYACz4kAsb

Or: https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/mindful-eating-and-parshat-eikev

Coping With Disappointments Mindfully and Parshat Ve'etchanan

Parshat Va’etchanan, the parsha that is always read on Shabbat Nachamu, the Shabbat of Comfort that comes after Tisha B'Av, is best known as the parsha that contains the Shema, which is central to our prayers.

And in this parsha we can also learn about hopes and warnings and disappointments.

Moses, who had given a lifetime of service to G-d and to the Children of Israel, was denied entry to the Land of Israel, in spite of his pleading with G-d to let him in.

Moses spent his life leading the people of Israel toward the Promised Land, but now

he would not be able to enjoy the fruits of his life’s work. Was Moses disappointed? Frustrated? Or was he hurt that his prayers weren’t answered and his dream was denied?

We all know the feeling of disappointment. Sometimes it is experienced as an emotional blow to the stomach, or in the chest– literally taking your breath away.

Other times it might make your throat become tight. Whatever your experience is like for you, disappointment can range from letting go of mild hopes to crushing your deepest life’s dream. No matter what form disappointment may take for you in any given situation, how you choose to handle that emotional experience makes all the difference between becoming more resilient and learning important lessons or deciding to give up on future happiness or success.

Carolyn Gimian, meditation teacher and author, teaches that there is a strong relationship between expectations, disappointment, and blame. Expectations are usually about the future. When they are not met, we are often disappointed, and this leads us to judge ourselves and others when things don’t go our way. Expectations set us up for disappointment. Blame deflects our disappointment. You can see this in the most mundane situations. For example, you make a reservation for dinner, but when you get to the restaurant, they can’t find your reservation and there are no tables available. Someone has to pay!

With small disappointments, humor can be a good remedy.

Really, is there nothing you can put on your salad to replace your favorite brand of salad dressing you just ran out of? Isn’t it even a little bit amusing that you’re so fixated?

Daily disappointment is often connected with the breakdown of a habit that we cling to. If you’ve been wearing the same brand and style of t-shirt for the last ten years, and suddenly it’s no longer being made, you're likely to be disappointed. But not getting what you’re accustomed to also wakes you up. You have to look around and see what else is available. For instance, when your coffee shop stops carrying your favorite dark roast, you have to look at the menu and consider other alternatives. Disappointment can turn out to be very refreshing.

When the great thing we longed for doesn’t live up to our expectations, we may wonder why we wanted it in the first place.

We might feel disappointed, in part because the purchased item doesn’t bring the hoped-for satisfaction.

When we feel fundamentally disappointed, it can be paralyzing. We blame ourselves and we may blame the people we live and work with, especially people that we're close to.

We can take it further and feel unworthy or become unable to achieve anything. We feel

not only disappointed but discouraged, which literally means to lose our courage.

When things really don’t go our way, how do we find the courage to not give up?

Through the quiet of mindfulness practice and being open enough, we can find value in every disappointment.

Disappointment isn’t something we can avoid in life, but it doesn’t have to be crippling. If we can try and see that our failures can be as valuable as our successes, we have the beginnings of a way to work with disappointment. The unacceptable alternative is to give up; to avoid taking a chance in life; to stay away from anything risky or uncertain.

When we are willing to risk disappointment and take a chance, we can celebrate that we have the courage to experience both disappointment, and the satisfaction of success.

Here are a few things that may help you to find quiet and openness when you are facing disappointment:

1. Make a point of simply acknowledging to yourself when you are disappointed.

Over a day or a week, notice when you’re disappointed because you don’t get what you want. Not changing it, just noticing.

2. Stop Ruminating, which means stop excessively dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings. The more you dwell on your disappointment, the harder it is to let go. Not only will it disrupt your ability to focus, but it will also prevent you from moving forward

3. Finding humor in a situation allows you to step back and see things more clearly.

This is not suggesting you make light of your emotional vulnerability, but rather recognize that laughing is like taking a deep breath and bringing everything back down to earth.

4. Be kind to yourself. There’s a difference between you and whatever disappointment you are experiencing. Appreciate yourself. Right now, when you are experiencing the worst disappointment of your life, you are there with it. It’s okay that you’re disappointed. Be kind to yourself.

5. If you have a few minutes – breathe through your disappointment. Take it in and let it out. Just stopping to notice our breath for a minute can make a big difference.

Or try this short guided practice:

Get settled, noticing the contact your body is making with whatever surface you’re sitting on, focusing on your in-breath and your out-breath.

And with each exhale, can you imagine yourself letting go of your feeling of disappointment– letting your body relax in your chair or wherever you're sitting?

And imagining a gentle breath towards your heart. Feeling a softening….

Letting go of your disappointment will help you create an opening, a space for more possibilities. What would you like to invite into this space right now? (pause)

What would you like to cultivate more of? And what inner strength would you like to encourage or help to grow? Can you imagine letting it in?

What do you need right now?

Any words of encouragement that you can tell yourself like something you might say to someone you care about?

Moses comes to understand the reality that every life, including his own, comes with limitations and disappointments, but there is hope for us when we can learn to befriend our disappointments.

LISTEN ON THE INSIGHT TIMER APP: https://insig.ht/DZc35U8apsb

OR

https://insighttimer.com/skeinon/guided-meditations/coping-with-disappointment-and-parshat-veetchanan